I’ve been in a slump. A funk. I’ve been battling depression and anxiety and that always seems to peak around Mother’s Day (see these two posts for the ‘why’).
While this time of year is especially triggering for me, I’ve also been dealing with some pretty stressful things for the last few years that have contributed to my anxiety being at an all-time high. I spent 6 hours a couple of weekends ago experiencing a, nearly non-stop, panic attack. Luckily, I was able to get a visit with my counselor a couple of days ago and, as we were talking, I had a major epiphany. Some of the things that have happened to me recently have caused my mind and body to process those things in the same way they did in my childhood traumas. There are some similarities in situations, but also some things are connected in ways I would have never realized until my counselor and I kept exploring the issue. Things are going on that are causing me to feel like I’m still locked in that closet. I am figuratively, but my body is responding as if I was still trapped and confined in that small space, abandoned and alone.
This realization was, honestly, quite bittersweet. It helped to be able to make some connections and develop a deeper understanding of why I’ve been feeling the way that I have, but it doesn’t make things any less painful to go through. There are a lot of traumas that I have yet to process, despite years of counseling and work on my part. I briefly did some IFS (Internal Family Systems)/Parts Work in the past and this is something my current counselor thinks would be beneficial for me to revisit. In the meantime, I wanted to share some of the things that have helped to alleviate some of my symptoms. Everyone’s experiences are different and what works for me, might not work for you. This is not intended to be medical advice. I am merely sharing my experiences in hopes they might help someone else.
o Yoga for Trauma (Yoga Anytime — Kyra Haglund)
o Outside time — Walking, biking
o Writing
o Tapping — The Tapping Solution
o Meditation & Prayer — my mind has been difficult to still lately, but I try to bring my mind back when it wanders as best I can.
o Counseling
o Reading — I like to read fiction at night as I am trying to slow down my racing mind so I can fall asleep. I prefer books that I don’t have to ‘think’ about. I am currently on book 15 of the Virgin River series, written by Robyn Carr. During the day I prefer to read self-help books. I’m always looking for ways to improve, grow and learn. Right now, I am reading What Happened to You? by Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. and Oprah Winfrey.
o Showing myself compassion — This is something that my counselor suggested during our last session. I’m frequently hard on myself and easily get frustrated if I feel like my depression and anxiety are ‘ruining’ something for someone else or if I’m not processing and healing as quickly as I would like. I need to give myself the same safe space I would give a friend or loved one. I need to treat myself with kindness, understanding, and reassurance.
I would love to hear from anyone else out there who struggles with depression and anxiety. Please feel free to share your stories or tips and tricks of what has worked for you.
If you are struggling with depression and anxiety, please consider speaking with a counselor and/or another medical professional.
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